Monday, January 16, 2006

The apology list

So after writing my last post about the complexity that is bananas, I got to thinking about people who break the banana rules and how they should be made to apologise. Then it dawned on me that there are many more people who are in the same boat. So I started compiling the following list:

People who should be made to apologise:

1. Alanis Morissette - For tricking us all by writing and singing great songs and then relentlessly and painfully playing that awful harmonica again and again and again...

2. George Bush. For many, many different reasons that are too many in number and complicated to list here.

3. People and companies who sell gift vouchers that expire in 3 or 6 months. It's is business without conscience and that's unacceptable.

4. The person or people who invented liquid soap for the shower. Apparently most women like this sort of thing, but I hear from bar stool banter that about 60% of what men (myself included) squeeze into their hands in the shower is washed down the drain without actually making contact with any other part of the body.

5. Any New Zealand Company that advertises on television or radio using an American voiceover. Shame on you.

well, that will do for now... but be warned because it's 2006 and I am on the prowl.


At 9:36 PM, Blogger Martha said...

I'm sorry. I enjoy bananas in all guises, but I sympathise with your horror.

I must correct you on one count with your apology thingy. Alanis was always a nightmare, and should primarily be apologising for "Ironic".

At 11:26 PM, Blogger Sonicnaan said...

I would have to argue the liquid soap apology. However it is a circular arguement and only serves to prove that most women need to spend money on useless things.

Liquid soap does indeed disappear UNLESS you utilise a device such as a sponge or pretty shaped flannel type thing which is POINTLESS because then you may as well have used a BAR OF SOAP and saved money and space.



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